How to help your child feel more comfortable at the dentist
Why It’s Important for Children to Go to the Dentist
Dental care starts the day your baby is born. Before teeth emerge, the gums need to be gently swabbed with a soft, damp cloth once a day. Once the teeth begin to grow it’s up to the parent to gently brush those tiny new teeth.
Eventually, you teach your child to brush their own teeth and to develop good oral care habits. The American Dental Association recommends that children brush their teeth twice a day using fluoride toothpaste. They should also learn to floss, rinse with mouthwash to reduce bacteria and see the dentist twice a year.
However, many people struggle to get to the dentist. The limited number of dentists in rural communities is a barrier. And many people don’t have dental insurance, making an annual check-up unaffordable. Finally, there is a very common fear of going to the dentist.
Going to the dentist is essential, though. Cavities, gum disease, and bacteria can cause long-term illness, loss of teeth, and social challenges. Not to mention the fact that cavities, mouth infections, and gum disease hurt. Periodontitis, aka gum disease, has been linked to type 2 diabetes, obesity, and heart disease.
National studies have shown that preschool-aged children are getting more cavities. More than one in four children in the United States has had at least one cavity by the age of four. Many kids get cavities as early as age two. The solution is to get your child to the dentist early.
The best time to start is when your child turns one year old. There are many steps to take before you make the appointment. First you’ll want to research and choose the best pediatric dentist available in your community. You’ll also want to review their payment options if you don’t have dental insurance.
There are steps you can take to prepare your young child for their first dental appointment. You’ll want them to be relaxed and to look forward to the appointment. You might read books about going to the dentist.
You might also start talking about caring for their teeth, if you haven’t already. The goal is to make sure that they understand that going to the dentist is a positive step and the best way to keep a healthy mouth and smile.
During the appointment most pediatric dentists will allow the parents to accompany their child. You’ll want to make sure that the steps the oral hygienist and the dentist take are clearly explained and that your child stays relaxed. Your child’s first dental appointment will set the groundwork for the rest of their dental life.
It sets them up not only for good oral health but also for good physical health. Next, well take a look at how to choose a pediatric dentist, because choosing the right one can make a big difference in your child’s attitude about the dentist and oral health.
How to Choose a Great Pediatric Dentist
Choosing a dentist for your child is just as important as finding a doctor. You want a professional with a great reputation and education as well as someone who will be kind and caring when working with your child. Let’s take a look at the steps you can take to choose a great pediatric dentist.
Step #1 Review Your Options
The first step is to gather a list of pediatric dentists to compare. You can do this by asking for a referral from your pediatrician. In addition, be sure to ask for recommendations from friends and family. Many local publications also publish an annual list of the top professionals in your area. Finally, check online. The AAPD (American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry) has a pediatric dentist search tool you can use to find dentists in your area.
Step #2 Start Comparing
When you’re reviewing your options there are many things to compare. You’ll want to check how long they’ve been in business and make sure they are a licensed pediatric dentist. A pediatric dentist has two additional years of residency training for babies, kids, teens and special needs children.
You’ll also want to check into their policies, payment options, the insurance they take and customer reviews. It’s okay to stop by a practice and chat with the staff. You can often get a good indication about the professionalism and care of a pediatric office by visiting or giving them a call.
Step #3 Make an Appointment
Just because you choose a dentist and make an appointment doesn’t mean you’re making a lifelong commitment to that practice. Your first visit is an opportunity to evaluate their practice and make sure it’s the right place for you and your child. During your visit the hygienist and dentist will:
As you’re in the office, make sure that it’s a welcoming place for children. Everyone should be friendly. The environment should be designed for children and include activities in the waiting room, visual design elements that are friendly to children like bright colors and kid-friendly themes, and they should respond effectively and positively to unhappy children.
It can take a little time to find the right dentist for your child. It’s worth it. When the dental experience is a positive one, children are less likely to develop a fear of the dentist.
Next we’ll talk about another way that your child can feel comfortable at the dentist and that is to create good dental habits so that there aren’t any issues at their appointments.
Four Healthy Dental Habits Your Child Can Adopt to Make Each Dentist Appointment a Success
When you take your child to the dentist they’ll go over the healthy habits that prevent cavities and gum disease. They’ll talk to your child about brushing their teeth. They’ll likely also discuss healthy eating and drinking habits.
You can be proactive and help your child adopt these habits early. While cavities can still happen, when you and your child take steps early on, it creates better dentist appointments and a happier and healthier child.
1. Brush Twice a Day
Some children, and some adults it seems, just don’t like to brush their teeth. However, this simple habit goes a long way toward preventing cavities and gum disease. In addition to encouraging your child to brush their teeth twice a day, be a good role model and brush yours too. In fact, it’s something you can do together. Sing songs, use colorful and fun toothbrushes and toothpaste and maybe even sing and dance.
Proper brushing habits are important too. It can be a good idea to occasionally go over the right way to brush your teeth - including brushing the gums and tongue.
2. Flossing
Most children don’t really need to floss. Their little teeth are so far apart. However, it’s still a good habit to get into. They make flavored floss to try and they also make flossing devices that are easier for small hands to manage.
3. Mouthwash
Again, children don’t often need mouthwash for bad breath. However, they can benefit from mouth rinses. These kill bacteria that can cause cavities and gum disease – in case your child misses a spot. They come in child-friendly flavors and include fluoride to help protect the enamel on their teeth.
4. Limit Sugary Snacks and Drinks
The dentist will undoubtedly talk about what sugar does to teeth. You and your child can help protect their teeth by limiting sugary drinks and snacks. They should be an occasional treat rather than the norm. Additionally, they should brush their teeth after any sugary snack.
By taking these steps when your child is young, they may very well go through childhood without any cavities. This can go a long way to helping them be comfortable with the dentist and to never really develop a fear of them. However, sometimes, for a variety of reasons, a child can become fearful anyway. Next, we’ll take a look at three things you can do to help reduce your child’s fear of the dentist.
Three Things You Can Do to Reduce Your Child’s Fear of the Dentist
Sometimes, no matter what you do, children become a little fearful of the dentist. It may happen because they hear something from friends or family. It can happen if they’re at the dentist and another child is having a problem. It can also happen naturally because a dental cleaning can be an uncomfortable process, especially if there are a few issues.
You can help reduce your child’s fear of the dentist with a few basic steps.
1. Prepare Them
Prepare your child for the appointment. Some children really need to know what to expect from various outings. When they know what to expect, they can prepare themselves mentally and physically for the experience. You can tell your child is one of these people if they often misbehave when something happens spontaneously.
For example, watch your child when you go to the supermarket. If you prepare them for the outing and tell them exactly what to expect, what you expect of them, and why you’re going, they may behave differently than if you spontaneously run to the store.
Become aware of your child’s personality and needs. If they need to know what to expect, then be sure to prepare them for their appointment well in advance.
For example, if they have an appointment on Friday, you might tell them on Wednesday that they have a dentist appointment coming up and you might give a brief rundown or reminder of what is going to happen.
On Friday you’ll tell them again and you might spend a few more minutes going over what to expect. Ask them about what they remember from the last appointment.
2. Reward/Distract Them
You can also take the attention away from the dental appointment by focusing on an activity after the visit, and we'll talk more about that later. For example, you might schedule a playdate for after the dental appointment or a trip to the zoo. This way your child is able to focus on the fun rather than the fear.
The activity can be a reward for a good trip to the dentist, or it can simply be a distraction. Decide which works best for your child and your situation. Keep in mind that if your child is fearful of the dentist, a reward may not be the best approach because it might add more stress and pressure than your child can handle.
3. Schedule It When They’re Not Going to Be Tired
Finally, try to schedule the appointment when your child is generally at their best. For example, if your child is not a morning person then a seven o’clock appointment isn’t a great idea.
If they take naps at noon then you might schedule their appointment for after their nap. We’re generally better able to manage our fears when we’re not tired and can think more clearly and rationally.
Sometimes children are simply fearful of the dentist. Try to talk to your child about their fears. Help them learn what to expect and give them something positive to focus on. Next, we’ll talk about how to prepare your child for their first dental appointment.
Tips to Prepare Your Child for Their First Trip to the Dentist
When your child’s first dental appointment is coming up it can be a great opportunity for education. There are some fun steps you can take to prepare them for this milestone.
Preparing your child for their first visit to the dentist can help them look forward to the outing. It can make it fun and interesting for your child. When they have a positive mindset about the dentist and the appointment is a positive experience, they’ll be less likely to develop a fear of the dentist.
That being said, sometimes things go wrong and a fear can develop. Let’s take a look at what can go wrong and what you can do to help your child.
What to Do When Something Goes Wrong at the Dentist
Sometimes the dentist appointment doesn’t go as expected. There are a number of reasons for this and we’ll take a look at them below. When something goes wrong, it’s important to talk about it. Let your child share their feelings and thoughts about it. Help them learn from it, and take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Another Unhappy Child
It is going to happen. There will be a child at the dentist who is unhappy. They may be screaming, crying or sick. Your child will see this and have a reaction to it. Some children are old enough to experience empathy for the other child. Some children internalize the experience and may feel unhappy, sad, or sick themselves.
When there is an unhappy child it’s often a good idea to talk to your child about what that other kid is experiencing and why. For example, if the child is sick from anesthesia then you can explain that this can happen to some people and that it’s okay. They’ll feel better soon and the dentist is helping them. Reframe the situation and let your child know that it’s going to be okay.
Discomfort in Their Mouth
We all have different pain thresholds. Sometimes at the dentist what may seem like a small poke or scrape to one person can hurt someone else. Children with a sensitive mouth or a low pain threshold may be fearful because they don’t like the pain. It’s understandable. If they experience pain, talk to them about it and talk to the hygienist and/or dentist. Work together to help your child have a pain-free experience.
A Cavity
Some children are sensitive to criticism. If they have a cavity or they are scolded for not doing a good job brushing their teeth, they can internalize it. It’s a better idea to make these moments learning moments rather than to chastise them. If they’re afraid of being reprimanded or criticized, then they will be fearful and less inclined to go to the dentist when they’re older. Help them learn from any mistakes.
Sometimes things happen at the dentist and you can’t prevent them or anticipate them. However, if you approach everything objectively and strive to help your child learn from it and prevent it from happening again, they feel empowered. This is the opposite of fear and it’s a great way to live life. Speaking of a great way to live life, how about rewards? Let’s explore some fun ways to reward your child for a successful dental appointment.
Fun Ways to Reward Your Child for a Successful Dental Appointment
Going to the dentist doesn’t have to be an unpleasant activity. In fact, if you plan a fun activity after the dentist, it can be something that your child looks forward to. The first step is to decide how you’re going to present the reward to your child.
It’s generally not recommended to make the appointment dependent on any particular outcome. For example, you don’t want to tell your child that if they have no cavities that you’ll take them to the zoo. This is bribery and it can actually teach your child to fear going to the dentist. The stress of maybe having a cavity may be too much for them.
However, you can reward them for their behavior at the dentist. You can tell them that if they are well behaved and co-operative at the dentist, you will go to the zoo afterward. Avoid saying things like, “Don’t cry,” however, because sometimes you just can’t help it and you have to cry.
You just want your child to do their best and to look forward to the appointment because you’re going to do something fun afterward. So what can you do that’s fun? Oh, the possibilities are endless.
The list can go on and on and depends largely on the age and interests of your child. If they’re old enough, consider asking them what they want to do after their appointment. You can also schedule the appointment for later in the school day so that your child doesn’t have to worry about missing too much school but may have some fun and satisfaction about missing a little bit of school.
Your child will have their own ideas about how to have fun after the dentist. And by making the day a positive one with a focus on fun, it can not only distract them from thinking about the dentist, it can actually help them think more positively about the dentist. They might actually look forward to their semi-annual check-up.
So what do you do when your child is just fearful of the dentist and you can’t seem to help them get past it?
What to Do When Your Child Is Afraid of the Dentist
Sometimes children are fearful of the dentist and you may not understand why. There may be no clear cause for the fear and it can be a torturous outing for both you and your child. What can you do? How do you make sure that your child has a healthy mouth and a more positive experience at the dentist?
1. Sit with Them during the Appointment
Whether your child is two or sixteen, if they are fearful of the dentist it can be comforting if you’re sitting with them. You don’t need to say anything and in many cases you probably shouldn’t. Just be there with them to hold their hand and remind them to stay calm and breathe.
If your child is older, you can ask them what you can do or say to help them stay calm. They may not know the answer so it can be a process of trial and error. However, often knowing that their parent is with them to support them can help calm the fears a lot.
Additionally, if you’re sitting with your child during their appointment, you may be able to observe when they become anxious and why. It can help you gain a little bit of knowledge about the situation, which can create potential solutions.
2. Talk to the Dentist
It’s important to let your dentist know that your child is afraid of the appointment. There are steps they can take to make your child more comfortable. This could mean talking to them about every step before they do it. It can also include distracting them. In addition, there’s something called sedation dentistry which uses nitrous oxide to help calm your child during the more frightening procedures.
3. Teach Your Child to Relax
Sometimes simple relaxation techniques can help your child. For example, you might teach them about deep breathing or progressive relaxation. You can teach them to meditate or to self-soothe and block out the thoughts that are causing them anxiety.
Finally, you might reduce their visits to once a year instead of twice a year. Again, it’s a great idea to talk to your dentist about this step and to make sure your child’s teeth are in good enough shape that an annual visit doesn’t put them at risk.
As a parent there are many things you can do to help your child. There are also many mistakes that can be made. Knowing the most common mistakes can help you avoid making them.
Common Mistakes Parents Make When Teaching Their Children to Not Be Afraid of the Dentist
Parents aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. These mistakes are often made in seemingly innocent situations that can later have larger repercussions. For example, your child might overhear you talking to the dentist about the appointment and become fearful. The following four mistakes are the most common and can have surprising consequences.
1. Sharing Stories
Sometimes parents try to empathize by sharing stories of their own experiences with their child. For example, you might tell them about the one time you had a cavity and had to have it filled. Unfortunately, this doesn’t really help your child. You might actually, and unintentionally, frighten them more. Your child may not have a cavity so your story may be irrelevant.
Additionally, you probably have emotions related to your story and those emotions can impact your child. They may hear the fear that you had and internalize it. Listening to your child express themselves is good. Also focus on the positive aspects of going to the dentist and save your root canal stories for someone else.
2. Using the Wrong Words
Watch the words that you use when you talk to your child about the dentist. Using words like:
...can be terrifying to your child. Use positive phrases and focus on helping your child understand that the goal is to have a healthy smile and clean teeth.
3. Expecting Them to Be Perfectly Happy
You’re better off anticipating some emotions and fussing. Your child may cry. They may be unhappy with the dentist poking around in their mouth. If you expect this behavior, you’ll be in a better mindset to deal with it. If you expect them to be perfectly behaved and happy, then when they do misbehave it can be difficult to stay calm.
4. Bribing Them
Finally, don’t bribe your child for good behavior at the dentist. This can backfire. It can make them feel more anxiety than necessary. Now they have to worry about the dentist and they have to worry about behaving.
It can also make them wonder why you’re so concerned about their behavior. Children are smart and they can quickly put two and two together and realize that if mom has to bribe me to behave at the dentist then maybe it’s something awful that I won’t like.
Instead, praise your child for good appointments and reward them. Enjoy some special time together; go with them to pick out a new toothbrush or a sticker book. Rewarding good behavior is different than bribing and trying to motivate good behavior.
There are so many things that you want to teach your child. Mistakes will be made, guaranteed. However, you’ll also have many successes. In most cases it’s important to know that your children are watching you. They may not listen, but they do pay attention. Your actions matter. Don’t worry so much about talking them through their fears. Listen instead. Learn why they’re afraid and what you can do to help them.
Next, we’ll talk about your biggest job as a parent (after keeping them safe, feeding them and making sure they’re loved) - being a good role model.
The Single Best Way to Help Your Child Relax about the Dentist
Children don’t often listen to their parents. However, they do pay attention to your actions. If you’re afraid of the dentist, your child will be, too - unless they have no idea that you’re afraid of the dentist. What do your actions tell your child? How can you be a good role model and show them that there’s nothing to be afraid of?
Go to the Dentist
Go to the dentist twice a year. Make sure that your child knows that you’re going to have your teeth cleaned and checked out. When you come back from the dentist, show them your beautiful smile.
Brush Your Teeth Together
Demonstrate good oral care habits by taking care of your teeth. The best way to make sure your child knows that you value your teeth and your oral health is to brush your teeth together. Of course your teenager isn’t going to want to do this with you; this is an activity for younger children.
Buy Products Together
Buy oral care products together. Ask your child to choose their toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, and mouth rinse or mouthwash. Let them have a say in the products they use and talk about the products you choose and why. This teaches them to put some thought into their oral care and to value it by choosing products that they like.
You cannot guarantee that your child will never develop a fear of the dentist. However, you can take positive steps to help them feel good about taking care of their health. Being a good role model is the first step. Teach them about why it’s important and give them the information, support, and tools they need to feel confident and in control.
Dental care starts the day your baby is born. Before teeth emerge, the gums need to be gently swabbed with a soft, damp cloth once a day. Once the teeth begin to grow it’s up to the parent to gently brush those tiny new teeth.
Eventually, you teach your child to brush their own teeth and to develop good oral care habits. The American Dental Association recommends that children brush their teeth twice a day using fluoride toothpaste. They should also learn to floss, rinse with mouthwash to reduce bacteria and see the dentist twice a year.
However, many people struggle to get to the dentist. The limited number of dentists in rural communities is a barrier. And many people don’t have dental insurance, making an annual check-up unaffordable. Finally, there is a very common fear of going to the dentist.
Going to the dentist is essential, though. Cavities, gum disease, and bacteria can cause long-term illness, loss of teeth, and social challenges. Not to mention the fact that cavities, mouth infections, and gum disease hurt. Periodontitis, aka gum disease, has been linked to type 2 diabetes, obesity, and heart disease.
National studies have shown that preschool-aged children are getting more cavities. More than one in four children in the United States has had at least one cavity by the age of four. Many kids get cavities as early as age two. The solution is to get your child to the dentist early.
The best time to start is when your child turns one year old. There are many steps to take before you make the appointment. First you’ll want to research and choose the best pediatric dentist available in your community. You’ll also want to review their payment options if you don’t have dental insurance.
There are steps you can take to prepare your young child for their first dental appointment. You’ll want them to be relaxed and to look forward to the appointment. You might read books about going to the dentist.
You might also start talking about caring for their teeth, if you haven’t already. The goal is to make sure that they understand that going to the dentist is a positive step and the best way to keep a healthy mouth and smile.
During the appointment most pediatric dentists will allow the parents to accompany their child. You’ll want to make sure that the steps the oral hygienist and the dentist take are clearly explained and that your child stays relaxed. Your child’s first dental appointment will set the groundwork for the rest of their dental life.
It sets them up not only for good oral health but also for good physical health. Next, well take a look at how to choose a pediatric dentist, because choosing the right one can make a big difference in your child’s attitude about the dentist and oral health.
How to Choose a Great Pediatric Dentist
Choosing a dentist for your child is just as important as finding a doctor. You want a professional with a great reputation and education as well as someone who will be kind and caring when working with your child. Let’s take a look at the steps you can take to choose a great pediatric dentist.
Step #1 Review Your Options
The first step is to gather a list of pediatric dentists to compare. You can do this by asking for a referral from your pediatrician. In addition, be sure to ask for recommendations from friends and family. Many local publications also publish an annual list of the top professionals in your area. Finally, check online. The AAPD (American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry) has a pediatric dentist search tool you can use to find dentists in your area.
Step #2 Start Comparing
When you’re reviewing your options there are many things to compare. You’ll want to check how long they’ve been in business and make sure they are a licensed pediatric dentist. A pediatric dentist has two additional years of residency training for babies, kids, teens and special needs children.
You’ll also want to check into their policies, payment options, the insurance they take and customer reviews. It’s okay to stop by a practice and chat with the staff. You can often get a good indication about the professionalism and care of a pediatric office by visiting or giving them a call.
Step #3 Make an Appointment
Just because you choose a dentist and make an appointment doesn’t mean you’re making a lifelong commitment to that practice. Your first visit is an opportunity to evaluate their practice and make sure it’s the right place for you and your child. During your visit the hygienist and dentist will:
- Conduct an exam and assess your child’s mouth for cavities, normal tooth development, and potential future concerns
- Talk about dental habits
- Educate you and your child about dental care, including health and nutrition habits
- Repair any issues if necessary. For example, they may fill a cavity
- Discuss preventive dental care, including cleaning, sealants and fluoride treatment
As you’re in the office, make sure that it’s a welcoming place for children. Everyone should be friendly. The environment should be designed for children and include activities in the waiting room, visual design elements that are friendly to children like bright colors and kid-friendly themes, and they should respond effectively and positively to unhappy children.
It can take a little time to find the right dentist for your child. It’s worth it. When the dental experience is a positive one, children are less likely to develop a fear of the dentist.
Next we’ll talk about another way that your child can feel comfortable at the dentist and that is to create good dental habits so that there aren’t any issues at their appointments.
Four Healthy Dental Habits Your Child Can Adopt to Make Each Dentist Appointment a Success
When you take your child to the dentist they’ll go over the healthy habits that prevent cavities and gum disease. They’ll talk to your child about brushing their teeth. They’ll likely also discuss healthy eating and drinking habits.
You can be proactive and help your child adopt these habits early. While cavities can still happen, when you and your child take steps early on, it creates better dentist appointments and a happier and healthier child.
1. Brush Twice a Day
Some children, and some adults it seems, just don’t like to brush their teeth. However, this simple habit goes a long way toward preventing cavities and gum disease. In addition to encouraging your child to brush their teeth twice a day, be a good role model and brush yours too. In fact, it’s something you can do together. Sing songs, use colorful and fun toothbrushes and toothpaste and maybe even sing and dance.
Proper brushing habits are important too. It can be a good idea to occasionally go over the right way to brush your teeth - including brushing the gums and tongue.
2. Flossing
Most children don’t really need to floss. Their little teeth are so far apart. However, it’s still a good habit to get into. They make flavored floss to try and they also make flossing devices that are easier for small hands to manage.
3. Mouthwash
Again, children don’t often need mouthwash for bad breath. However, they can benefit from mouth rinses. These kill bacteria that can cause cavities and gum disease – in case your child misses a spot. They come in child-friendly flavors and include fluoride to help protect the enamel on their teeth.
4. Limit Sugary Snacks and Drinks
The dentist will undoubtedly talk about what sugar does to teeth. You and your child can help protect their teeth by limiting sugary drinks and snacks. They should be an occasional treat rather than the norm. Additionally, they should brush their teeth after any sugary snack.
By taking these steps when your child is young, they may very well go through childhood without any cavities. This can go a long way to helping them be comfortable with the dentist and to never really develop a fear of them. However, sometimes, for a variety of reasons, a child can become fearful anyway. Next, we’ll take a look at three things you can do to help reduce your child’s fear of the dentist.
Three Things You Can Do to Reduce Your Child’s Fear of the Dentist
Sometimes, no matter what you do, children become a little fearful of the dentist. It may happen because they hear something from friends or family. It can happen if they’re at the dentist and another child is having a problem. It can also happen naturally because a dental cleaning can be an uncomfortable process, especially if there are a few issues.
You can help reduce your child’s fear of the dentist with a few basic steps.
1. Prepare Them
Prepare your child for the appointment. Some children really need to know what to expect from various outings. When they know what to expect, they can prepare themselves mentally and physically for the experience. You can tell your child is one of these people if they often misbehave when something happens spontaneously.
For example, watch your child when you go to the supermarket. If you prepare them for the outing and tell them exactly what to expect, what you expect of them, and why you’re going, they may behave differently than if you spontaneously run to the store.
Become aware of your child’s personality and needs. If they need to know what to expect, then be sure to prepare them for their appointment well in advance.
For example, if they have an appointment on Friday, you might tell them on Wednesday that they have a dentist appointment coming up and you might give a brief rundown or reminder of what is going to happen.
On Friday you’ll tell them again and you might spend a few more minutes going over what to expect. Ask them about what they remember from the last appointment.
2. Reward/Distract Them
You can also take the attention away from the dental appointment by focusing on an activity after the visit, and we'll talk more about that later. For example, you might schedule a playdate for after the dental appointment or a trip to the zoo. This way your child is able to focus on the fun rather than the fear.
The activity can be a reward for a good trip to the dentist, or it can simply be a distraction. Decide which works best for your child and your situation. Keep in mind that if your child is fearful of the dentist, a reward may not be the best approach because it might add more stress and pressure than your child can handle.
3. Schedule It When They’re Not Going to Be Tired
Finally, try to schedule the appointment when your child is generally at their best. For example, if your child is not a morning person then a seven o’clock appointment isn’t a great idea.
If they take naps at noon then you might schedule their appointment for after their nap. We’re generally better able to manage our fears when we’re not tired and can think more clearly and rationally.
Sometimes children are simply fearful of the dentist. Try to talk to your child about their fears. Help them learn what to expect and give them something positive to focus on. Next, we’ll talk about how to prepare your child for their first dental appointment.
Tips to Prepare Your Child for Their First Trip to the Dentist
When your child’s first dental appointment is coming up it can be a great opportunity for education. There are some fun steps you can take to prepare them for this milestone.
- Read a Book – Grab a few books about the dentist from your local library. There are dozens of beloved books to choose from including Little Critter, Dora the Explorer, Berenstain Bears, and Curious George. Read the books aloud and talk about your child’s appointment.
- Activities – In addition to reading, you might purchase a few activity sheets or books. For example, there are both coloring books and sticker books that talk about going to the dentist. These help educate the child and give them something positive to focus on.
- Pretend – Role play with your child and pretend that you’re at the dentist. You can take turns. They can be the dentist and work on your mouth and you can be the dentist and pretend to work on their mouth.
- Watch Videos – Head over to YouTube or to pediatric dental websites and look for fun and educational videos. There are a few that show children what happens at the dentist in a fun and informative way. If your child is a visual learner, they may appreciate this approach. Stay with them and watch the videos together in case they have questions.
Preparing your child for their first visit to the dentist can help them look forward to the outing. It can make it fun and interesting for your child. When they have a positive mindset about the dentist and the appointment is a positive experience, they’ll be less likely to develop a fear of the dentist.
That being said, sometimes things go wrong and a fear can develop. Let’s take a look at what can go wrong and what you can do to help your child.
What to Do When Something Goes Wrong at the Dentist
Sometimes the dentist appointment doesn’t go as expected. There are a number of reasons for this and we’ll take a look at them below. When something goes wrong, it’s important to talk about it. Let your child share their feelings and thoughts about it. Help them learn from it, and take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Another Unhappy Child
It is going to happen. There will be a child at the dentist who is unhappy. They may be screaming, crying or sick. Your child will see this and have a reaction to it. Some children are old enough to experience empathy for the other child. Some children internalize the experience and may feel unhappy, sad, or sick themselves.
When there is an unhappy child it’s often a good idea to talk to your child about what that other kid is experiencing and why. For example, if the child is sick from anesthesia then you can explain that this can happen to some people and that it’s okay. They’ll feel better soon and the dentist is helping them. Reframe the situation and let your child know that it’s going to be okay.
Discomfort in Their Mouth
We all have different pain thresholds. Sometimes at the dentist what may seem like a small poke or scrape to one person can hurt someone else. Children with a sensitive mouth or a low pain threshold may be fearful because they don’t like the pain. It’s understandable. If they experience pain, talk to them about it and talk to the hygienist and/or dentist. Work together to help your child have a pain-free experience.
A Cavity
Some children are sensitive to criticism. If they have a cavity or they are scolded for not doing a good job brushing their teeth, they can internalize it. It’s a better idea to make these moments learning moments rather than to chastise them. If they’re afraid of being reprimanded or criticized, then they will be fearful and less inclined to go to the dentist when they’re older. Help them learn from any mistakes.
Sometimes things happen at the dentist and you can’t prevent them or anticipate them. However, if you approach everything objectively and strive to help your child learn from it and prevent it from happening again, they feel empowered. This is the opposite of fear and it’s a great way to live life. Speaking of a great way to live life, how about rewards? Let’s explore some fun ways to reward your child for a successful dental appointment.
Fun Ways to Reward Your Child for a Successful Dental Appointment
Going to the dentist doesn’t have to be an unpleasant activity. In fact, if you plan a fun activity after the dentist, it can be something that your child looks forward to. The first step is to decide how you’re going to present the reward to your child.
It’s generally not recommended to make the appointment dependent on any particular outcome. For example, you don’t want to tell your child that if they have no cavities that you’ll take them to the zoo. This is bribery and it can actually teach your child to fear going to the dentist. The stress of maybe having a cavity may be too much for them.
However, you can reward them for their behavior at the dentist. You can tell them that if they are well behaved and co-operative at the dentist, you will go to the zoo afterward. Avoid saying things like, “Don’t cry,” however, because sometimes you just can’t help it and you have to cry.
You just want your child to do their best and to look forward to the appointment because you’re going to do something fun afterward. So what can you do that’s fun? Oh, the possibilities are endless.
- Go to the bookstore or library and get some books
- Go to a movie
- Head to the park and enjoy some time outside
- Go bowling/roller skating/ice skating or some other activity that you may not often engage in
- Go to the zoo
- Visit the aquarium
- Take in a sporting event
- Go for lunch together
- Go to the toy store
- Rent a movie and watch it at home with a favorite snack
- Get their nails painted
- Go for a bike ride
- Stay up late with mom and/or dad
- Make some art/buy some art supplies
- Play a game with mom and/or dad
- Have friends over to play
- Make something together in the kitchen
- Choose what’s for dinner
The list can go on and on and depends largely on the age and interests of your child. If they’re old enough, consider asking them what they want to do after their appointment. You can also schedule the appointment for later in the school day so that your child doesn’t have to worry about missing too much school but may have some fun and satisfaction about missing a little bit of school.
Your child will have their own ideas about how to have fun after the dentist. And by making the day a positive one with a focus on fun, it can not only distract them from thinking about the dentist, it can actually help them think more positively about the dentist. They might actually look forward to their semi-annual check-up.
So what do you do when your child is just fearful of the dentist and you can’t seem to help them get past it?
What to Do When Your Child Is Afraid of the Dentist
Sometimes children are fearful of the dentist and you may not understand why. There may be no clear cause for the fear and it can be a torturous outing for both you and your child. What can you do? How do you make sure that your child has a healthy mouth and a more positive experience at the dentist?
1. Sit with Them during the Appointment
Whether your child is two or sixteen, if they are fearful of the dentist it can be comforting if you’re sitting with them. You don’t need to say anything and in many cases you probably shouldn’t. Just be there with them to hold their hand and remind them to stay calm and breathe.
If your child is older, you can ask them what you can do or say to help them stay calm. They may not know the answer so it can be a process of trial and error. However, often knowing that their parent is with them to support them can help calm the fears a lot.
Additionally, if you’re sitting with your child during their appointment, you may be able to observe when they become anxious and why. It can help you gain a little bit of knowledge about the situation, which can create potential solutions.
2. Talk to the Dentist
It’s important to let your dentist know that your child is afraid of the appointment. There are steps they can take to make your child more comfortable. This could mean talking to them about every step before they do it. It can also include distracting them. In addition, there’s something called sedation dentistry which uses nitrous oxide to help calm your child during the more frightening procedures.
3. Teach Your Child to Relax
Sometimes simple relaxation techniques can help your child. For example, you might teach them about deep breathing or progressive relaxation. You can teach them to meditate or to self-soothe and block out the thoughts that are causing them anxiety.
Finally, you might reduce their visits to once a year instead of twice a year. Again, it’s a great idea to talk to your dentist about this step and to make sure your child’s teeth are in good enough shape that an annual visit doesn’t put them at risk.
As a parent there are many things you can do to help your child. There are also many mistakes that can be made. Knowing the most common mistakes can help you avoid making them.
Common Mistakes Parents Make When Teaching Their Children to Not Be Afraid of the Dentist
Parents aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. These mistakes are often made in seemingly innocent situations that can later have larger repercussions. For example, your child might overhear you talking to the dentist about the appointment and become fearful. The following four mistakes are the most common and can have surprising consequences.
1. Sharing Stories
Sometimes parents try to empathize by sharing stories of their own experiences with their child. For example, you might tell them about the one time you had a cavity and had to have it filled. Unfortunately, this doesn’t really help your child. You might actually, and unintentionally, frighten them more. Your child may not have a cavity so your story may be irrelevant.
Additionally, you probably have emotions related to your story and those emotions can impact your child. They may hear the fear that you had and internalize it. Listening to your child express themselves is good. Also focus on the positive aspects of going to the dentist and save your root canal stories for someone else.
2. Using the Wrong Words
Watch the words that you use when you talk to your child about the dentist. Using words like:
- Pain
- Hurt
- Fear
- Shot
...can be terrifying to your child. Use positive phrases and focus on helping your child understand that the goal is to have a healthy smile and clean teeth.
3. Expecting Them to Be Perfectly Happy
You’re better off anticipating some emotions and fussing. Your child may cry. They may be unhappy with the dentist poking around in their mouth. If you expect this behavior, you’ll be in a better mindset to deal with it. If you expect them to be perfectly behaved and happy, then when they do misbehave it can be difficult to stay calm.
4. Bribing Them
Finally, don’t bribe your child for good behavior at the dentist. This can backfire. It can make them feel more anxiety than necessary. Now they have to worry about the dentist and they have to worry about behaving.
It can also make them wonder why you’re so concerned about their behavior. Children are smart and they can quickly put two and two together and realize that if mom has to bribe me to behave at the dentist then maybe it’s something awful that I won’t like.
Instead, praise your child for good appointments and reward them. Enjoy some special time together; go with them to pick out a new toothbrush or a sticker book. Rewarding good behavior is different than bribing and trying to motivate good behavior.
There are so many things that you want to teach your child. Mistakes will be made, guaranteed. However, you’ll also have many successes. In most cases it’s important to know that your children are watching you. They may not listen, but they do pay attention. Your actions matter. Don’t worry so much about talking them through their fears. Listen instead. Learn why they’re afraid and what you can do to help them.
Next, we’ll talk about your biggest job as a parent (after keeping them safe, feeding them and making sure they’re loved) - being a good role model.
The Single Best Way to Help Your Child Relax about the Dentist
Children don’t often listen to their parents. However, they do pay attention to your actions. If you’re afraid of the dentist, your child will be, too - unless they have no idea that you’re afraid of the dentist. What do your actions tell your child? How can you be a good role model and show them that there’s nothing to be afraid of?
Go to the Dentist
Go to the dentist twice a year. Make sure that your child knows that you’re going to have your teeth cleaned and checked out. When you come back from the dentist, show them your beautiful smile.
Brush Your Teeth Together
Demonstrate good oral care habits by taking care of your teeth. The best way to make sure your child knows that you value your teeth and your oral health is to brush your teeth together. Of course your teenager isn’t going to want to do this with you; this is an activity for younger children.
Buy Products Together
Buy oral care products together. Ask your child to choose their toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, and mouth rinse or mouthwash. Let them have a say in the products they use and talk about the products you choose and why. This teaches them to put some thought into their oral care and to value it by choosing products that they like.
You cannot guarantee that your child will never develop a fear of the dentist. However, you can take positive steps to help them feel good about taking care of their health. Being a good role model is the first step. Teach them about why it’s important and give them the information, support, and tools they need to feel confident and in control.
